Whether it’s a company, a relationship, or just a new life chapter — starting over is freaking hard.
There are endless books, blogs, and podcasts on how to start over. If we can find a way to travel in the air in metal boxes or carry tiny computers around in our pockets, why can’t we figure out how to navigate change better?
When I think about starting over I usually think about endings. But new beginnings are just as hard.
A new city, a new job, a new relationship. Navigating change is difficult no matter what the change is.
A blank canvas means the world is your oyster. It also means you are starting over from scratch. Which means you have to rebuild. To establish new goals, routines, and new ways of being in the world.
It doesn’t actually matter if its a successful exit or a failed startup — starting over isn’t necessarily easier either way.
You know how some people seem to learn things the easy way or the first time. Yeah that’s not me. I’m messy. Not the perfectly imperfect messy either, I’m more of a bed head kind of messy.
I like to make sure I thoroughly learn my lessons by repeating the same ineffective patterns of behavior over and over.
Avoidance. Over-attachment. Denial. Yeah I see you.
Some people just seem to know things. It’s like they got a life user manual about how to navigate this human experience gracefully and my copy got lost in the mail.
Change is never easy. But it’s the changes we didn’t choose to make that normally rock our world the most. Or maybe that’s just me.
Deciding to leave your job. Hard. Getting fired. Devastating.
Deciding to end a relationship. Hard. Getting dumped. Devastating.
Deciding to leave the party early. Hard. Being the last one at the party … okay maybe not devastating but definitely lonely.
Leap before you look
Everyone is different. I am no expert on how to start over and I am by no means creating a recipe for what others should do.
The one thing I know to be true is that no matter how many conversations with friends you have, action plans you make, or dreams you have — it doesn’t matter if you don’t do anything about it.
At the end of the day, no matter how you get there, no matter how long it takes, no matter how hard or easy it is … starting over decides with the decision to start.
Don’t sit in limbo watching things change. Choose to try something new. Choose to move in a direction, any direction really.
Newton’s 1st law of motion: an object in motion will stay in motion and an object at rest will stay at rest. So get yourself going. Choose to try.
Decide to start. It’s not going to be any easier tomorrow.