2016: A Year Of Love

The New Year is such a great reminder to be intentional about your life. What you want to include, what you want to change, or even who you want to be.

I already know that 2016 will be bringing some tough moments ... Like learning how to say goodbye before you’re ready.  

As I’ve been reflecting on why goodbye hurts so much, I realize it only hurts when there is a lot of love. Which is shaping up to be a pretty big theme for 2016.

Life is about change.  Sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful, most of the time it's both.

But goodbye isn’t always goodbye. Sometimes change just feels like goodbye. Which if you are an overanalyzing control freak like me - is about the scariest word out there. 

But the scariest things are often the best opportunities for growth if you let them be. 

2015 in Review: 

You don't know where you're going until you know where you've been

The theme for last year was alchemy - turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. I wasn’t really sure that happened until I started thinking about my favorite moments of 2015 which include:

  • Dinners with friends sitting on the kitchen floor drinking wine
  • Living room dance parties
  • Cooking in a kitchen full of laughter and interesting conversation
  • Too many impromptu beach trips to count (because why not
  • Late night pep talks
  • A lot of truth and vulnerability

All of these ordinary moments have felt like extraordinary memories. Maybe it was the moments, maybe it was the fact that I was more present to the moment, or maybe it was just that I took the time to stop and find gratitude for how great my ordinary is.

This year has also been full of learning. About how my brain works. About how my heart works. About who I am and who I am not. About apologizing (or not apologizing). 

LOOKING FORWARD: 2016

As I sit with the possibilities of next year - I’m challenged to image a life that I really LOVE living. Which leaves me with wondering what do I really love? Who do I really love? 

At one point this last year I got the absolute best pep talk ever. 

Erin, just remember: You are a strong, beautiful, confident woman. I need you to start acting like it.
— a good friend

For some reason that sentence has both inspired and haunted me every time I get myself into the weeds, but especially lately.

The thing I am most proud of is the relationships I’ve cultivated.  But somewhere along the way I think I forgot to invest in my relationship with me. 

So what does it look like if 2016 is a year about loving me?

Even as I type this I find myself getting uncomfortable. I keep hesitating, trying to think of some smart, funny way to diffuse the weight of my words. 

If the new year is an opportunity to create change, 

What does change look like? 

  • Being brave enough to stand for what matters
  • Saying no more often
  • Making things work for me fore I make them work for other people
  • Meditating - ha. I say that one every year.
  • Wearing more real people clothes (sigh
  • Trying new recipes. Because life is too short to eat spaghetti squash every night. 
  • Flossing everyday - I think other then meditating this one action may change my life. no, I am not kidding
  • Buying more fresh flowers
  • Not solving other people’s problems to avoid my working on my own
  • Getting curious
  • Manicures + massages (because investing in myself without apology feels good)
  • Knowing when to bend and when to walk away so I don’t break
  • And if I do break, dancing around the house until I feel better 

So what does a year of love look like? I recently saw a sign that said “French Kiss Life” and I think pretty much sums it up.